Husbands and Wives Follow

In my parents' household, my father was clearly the head of the household.  He had his own chair.  He had his own table next to that chair.  He had (once the technology allowed) the remote.  He would make statements like, "As long as you live in my house, you live by my rules."  Maybe you can relate?

When people read Scripture, and especially the passages about husbands and wives, it often creates confusion and difficulty.  I often hear discussions over interpretations that somehow tell the wives they need to sit down, shut up, and submit to their husbands.  The husbands think they get to be the king of the castle.  The problem with this discussion is that is misses the point.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21 NIV)

Paul starts the discussion about husband and wives, children and parents, and even slaves and masters with this verse.  He is telling everyone that we begin by following.  All of us start by following Christ.  When we follow Christ, we live our our roles in life as His follower.  This is important because Jesus said that anyone desiring to be first must be last and servant of all.  Leadership is not about control.  Leadership is about serving.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church-- for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-33 NIV)

My mom is sweet as apple pie.  She has always modeled a lifestyle of service to her husband, her children, her family, and her dance students.  (She was a dance teacher for many, many years.)  My dad served our community as a police officer.  Served us children as provider, protector, and loving leader in our household.  I regularly saw dad laying down his life for us children, too.

Mom and dad loved to get dressed up to go out dancing.  Dancing and roller-skate dancing were some of their favorite things to do.  This was how they spent their date time when they first met.  So, any opportunity to go out dancing, like a wedding, was fun for them.

I remember one wedding they attended for a nephew/niece that was right after mom had surgery.  She couldn't bend over far enough to put her shoes on and walking in her high heals was difficult.  When they arrived at the wedding, mom had her slippers on, but was all dressed up for the wedding and reception.  I still see the picture of my dad, in his suit, getting down on one knee to take off her slippers and put on her nice shoes for her.  Then, mom slid out of the car and, together, they walked over to the wedding to find their seats.  He regularly laid down his life for her.  She regularly served him.  It was a sight to see.

How about you?  Are you married?  If so, how do you treat your spouse?  In your marriage, do you serve?  Not married?  What qualities do you look for in a potential spouse?  Is God in the list of priorities?  Do you look for someone with a heart to serve?  Who do you follow?