Family

Take care of any widow who has no one else to care for her. But if she has children or grandchildren, their first responsibility is to show godliness at home and repay their parents by taking care of them. This is something that pleases God. But those who won't care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers. (1 Timothy 5:3-4, 8 NLT)

It's been a crazy schedule lately to be sure.  Frank, our worship minister, returned from Florida where he had just said goodbye to his father who went home to be with The Lord.  His return was on Wednesday evening after spending many months back and forth, caring for his dad, mom, and now helping his mom transition into the new season of life she is entering.


On Thursday, I spoke with my mom on the phone and The Spirit nudged me to come down and visit my mom and dad and to pick up my daughter from school for spring break.  I'm glad I listened.  That Thursday evening and Friday morning would be the last time I saw my dad alive.  He left this life the following Sunday.  I didn't come home this past Sunday to preach/teach, but instead stayed here not only to grieve but to help mom begin her transition into the new season of life she is entering.  Crazy timing, huh.


When Frank returned from Florida, he was expressing remorse about how things with his family were getting in the way of his ministry.  I tried to reassure him that spending time with his parents is his ministry.  I can understand his struggle.  Many times in the business world I was told either directly or indirectly that my family did not come first.  The company came first.  I've even spoken with ministers who have been told that they need to "suck it up" for the sake of the ministry and not take the time to grieve and help their family in need.


God had a different idea.  His idea was that family would take care of one another.  That's part of the reason He gave us to one another.  My primary ministry is to my wife, Traci.  After that, God calls me to love, care for, and raise my children.  Here, He reminds me that while my parents can usually take care of themselves, there may be a time when they will need help and care.  When they do, I show "godliness at home" and "repay" my parents by taking care of them.  They've worked hard at taking care of me from birth through adulthood.  I should follow their model and help them when they are in need.


I know that I stretch people regularly when it comes to ministry.  Perhaps that is because God regularly stretches me.  This one, though, isn't much of a stretch for me.  If I can can give my parents even a small fraction of the love and care that they have showered on me, it's worth every moment.

Naked and Unashamed

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.  (Genesis 2:25 NASB)

If'there's one verse of the Bible I keep wanting to live out, it's this verse right here.  Yeah, that doesn't sound right.  Maybe I should try to explain myself a little better.


This verse is the last line of the perfect picture God had in mind before things started to go wrong.  It summarizes the "very good"ness that God had in mind - especially for you and me.  The more we keep this picture in mind and strive to live like it, the more we enjoy the original Garden Walk He intended for us to live.


They didn't feel shame at their nakedness until sin came into their personal picture.  They felt no shame when there was nothing to be ashamed about.  They hadn't sinned yet.  They hadn't done anything wrong.  There was no false guilt.  They weren't forcing their "unashamed"ness nor were they lying about it to prove a point. There was no fear, anger, hurt, etc.  There was nothing that made them want to hide from God or from one another.  God calls this holiness.  When we follow God's design in everything we do, there is no God-given sense of shame that follows.  Only peace.


They were naked, too.  While their physical nakedness is discussed here, there is more to this picture than just flesh and blood.  There was nothing hidden in their lives.  Nothing was hidden between each other.  Nothing was hidden between them and God.  They were an "open book," if you will.  Nothing was hidden in their lives because they had nothing to hide.  This creates the picture I keep remembering as I go through my day.  In this day and age filled with lies, "spins," redirecting, politicizing, and hiding, I remind myself that I only enjoy God's design when I avoid all of that and simply live a life with nothing to hide.


The serpent (Satan) enters the story in the very next verse.  It reminds me that even in the original Garden, someone tried to stop Adam and Eve from being naked and unashamed.  When we face temptation that tries to pull us away from God's design, we're not alone.  They fell to that temptation, but that doesn't mean we have to.  We can choose not to believe his lies, half-truths, and spins on the subject and continue to enjoy the Garden.  Choosing our own path - whether to follow God or not - that's a part of a Garden Walk as well.


Transparent and unashamed...Nothing hidden and nothing to hide.  That's the essence of the Garden Walk, even for us today.  Jesus lived that kind of life.  "He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone."  (1 Peter 2:22 NLT)  I may have not lived that kind of life perfectly in the past, but I can strive to live that kind of life starting today.  As I do, I enjoy more and more the life God had in mind when He made me.  As you do, you can enjoy a Garden Walk, too.

Becoming One

That's why a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife. The two of them will become one.  (Genesis 2:24 NIrV)

There's more to this statement than just "one flesh" like I talked about a couple days ago.  "Becoming one" requires the purposeful intertwining of two lives.  We become one by sharing experiences with one another...easy ones and tough ones.  We become one when we love one another, even when the other is not being very lovable.  We become one when we choose to make our friendship more important than any other friendship in the world.  Becoming one is about priority, unity, commitment, friendship, and love.


When Traci and I were preparing to be married, I was quite concerned that I would not be able to hold up my end of "for as long as we both shall live."  My track record of finishing projects I started was not very good at the time, plus getting a divorce was just coming into vogue as something to do when things don't work out.  I didn't want to make a commitment that I wasn't sure I could keep, so it bothered me.


Over time, the fear faded away.  I started to realize that the strength in our lives didn't just come from the two of us.  The real power came from the "third strand" of the cord.  The real power came from God.  God wants us to be faithful to one another, so He always provides a path where we can remain faithful.  God wants us to be committed for life, so He always provides a path where we can be committed for life.  God wants us to be one, so He always provides a path where we can draw closer to one another.  All I need to do is choose to walk His path.  He does the hard part...clearing the way.


I haven't always chosen His path in our marriage.  There have been times I've looked at Traci as the enemy, fought for my own selfish desires, or ignored her role in my life at all. When I do, God always provides a path for me to take back to Him.  When she takes the path toward Him at the same time, we end up back together.  God has given us everything we need to become one.  I'm so glad we both chose to take that path.  The more I become one with her, the more I want to choose that path again.

Our Greatest Gifts

Adam made love to his wife Eve. She became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, "With the LORD's help I have had a baby boy."  (Genesis 4:1)

Children are a gift from the LORD. They are a reward from him.  (Psalms 127:3)

When Traci and I were dating, we would ask each other many questions to find out if we were "right" for one another.  One of the questions, of course, centered around children.  How many would we have?  I was ready for a big family 6 kids would be great for me.  Traci had a different idea.  "One...then we'll see."  She wasn't so sure about the whole "pain of childbirth" thing.

After our first child, Becca, Traci kind of softened up to the idea of more.  In fact, our second child (Amanda) was born a mere 16 months after Becca.  In one and a third years, we doubled our family size.  We had enough children to force us into man-to-man coverage...no more double teaming in an emergency.  Traci was ready to add a third child to our portfolio and I was wondering if 6 was really a good idea.  Once Joshua, our only son, was born I was getting a little freaked out.  Now there were officially more of them than us.  I mean, Traci and I are good, but would we be good enough!  Traci had difficulties with this last pregnancy, taking the romance out of the idea of having more.  All three of us agreed (Traci, me, and God) that it was time to stop having more children...and we did.

There were many times in those early years that I questioned our wisdom...ok I questioned our sanity.  "What were we thinking!"  Three little ones in the house forced us into zone defense and sometimes their offense ware more than we could handle.  There's no use crying over spilled milk, but what about a gallon of Crisco Oil poured on the brand new living room carpeting?  Do you stop to take a picture when he gets paint all over his hands (and face and walls and mom's piano bench), or do you simply contain, clean, and cry?  Raising three children really can be an adventure.

Our children aren't fully grown and out of the house yet, but all three are taller than Traci now and a couple are threatening to outstretch me.  With one in college and the other two in High School, I find myself with a dramatically different perspective on parenting than I did in the early years of their lives.  I'm not nearly as freaked out any more.  In fact, I find myself savoring the moments much more than I used to.

I guess that I've reached the point where I see my children as God intended me to see them.  They are a gift.  They are a special gift given exclusively to me and Traci.  In fact, they are the greatest gift God has ever given the two of us as a team.  Sure, God has given me greater gifts as an individual person.  Salvation and the gift of His Spirit would probably top that list.  But as a couple, I would put our children at the top of the list. (Even the "one flesh" stuff will eventually fade, but our children will still be able to shovel the snow off the driveway!)

I hope and pray that I treat them like the gift they are.  I want to see them as a gift from God.  I want to care for them as I would a precious gemstone.  I want to help them see their value so they will retain that value even when they encounter others in the world who don't see it.  I want to help them find partners in life who will recognize the value in each of them and treat them as a gift from God as well.

One Flesh

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 NIV)

I enjoy being "one flesh" with my wife.  It's a beautiful part of God's design.

I don't say this to gross you out or to make you uncomfortable.  I say it because I think God gets a "bad rap" in this area.  It seems like God or the church are always brought into the discussion about sex in a negative way.  We hear plenty about fallen pastors, predator priests, homophobic Christians, and unrealistic, prudish abstinence-only advocates.  God is painted as mean spirited for designing people a certain way, then telling them not to follow that design.  Nothing could be further from the truth.

Don't get me wrong.  I've struggled with the same feelings that are expressed by our culture.  I am a man whose hormones began raging in my teenage years like any other young man.  I battled with feeling like all God had to say to me was, "No. No. No. No. No!"  I wondered if I was homosexual when it seemed to be all the rage to come "out of the closet" and "be proud."  I've had many thoughts go through my mind and changes happen to my body that really made me wonder, "What was God thinking!"  I wasn't happy with God at all.  Marrying Traci and having "relief" for this tension helped some, but it did not solve the ultimate problem.

I was looking at things all wrong.  It wasn't my parents fault.  They tried to teach me well.  My friends still sneaked me magazines that gave me a very twisted picture of "healthy" sexuality.  Television and movies didn't help much as movie makers stretched the distance between "PG" and "R" until a "PG-13" rating was finally instituted.  Gay rights movements began bashing God and demonizeing churches, and starting to say God made them that way. Later, the internet made anything and everything available at any time.  And now, you can't watch television without seeing advertisements for women's things, sexual things, and Victoria's worst kept secret in the world.  What a mess.

God's design is so simple...so beautiful...so pure.  It's so difficult...almost impossible...to see it amidst the mess around us.  

Sex is good.  God designed it that way.

God made it enjoyable.  It's so enjoyable that we look for any way to separate it from any limitations or parameters so we can "hook up" anytime we want to with anyone we want to.  God was trying to give my wife and I a special gift that we could enjoy together.

God made it powerful.  The physical and emotional power is so strong that we associate it with "life."  We call it a "sex life" or a "lifestyle choice".  God was thinking that power would draw my wife and I back into each other's arms, even when situations and people try to pull us apart.

God made it life-giving.  We develop pills, condoms, and other devices to stop this process, then develop ways to "remove" the "fetus" when all those methods fail.  We don't want the life-giving properties in God's design, unless it's on our terms.  God was thinking we would enjoy being a part of the creation process. God was trying to bless us with another gift even greater than the enjoyment and power: the gift of a child.

Like I said, I enjoy being "one flesh" with my wife.  It's a beautiful part of God's design.  I realize now that the parts I don't like...the parts I struggle with...aren't a part of God's design at all.

Just Right

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him." So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man's ribs and closed up the opening. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and He brought her to the man. "At last!" the man exclaimed. "This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called 'woman,' because she was taken from 'man.'"     (Genesis 2:18, 21-23 NLT)

I can relate to Adam's struggle.  After God said it was not good for him to be alone, God began creating animals and bringing them to him.  Adam would name them...horse...fish...duck-billed platypus.  With each name Adam must have felt a sense of satisfaction from doing the work he was designed to do.  At the same time, there must have been a sense of disappointment...another one not like me.  I can almost feel his excitement as God brought Eve to him.  "Hey!  This one is like me!"  He had found his God designed partner for life.

I spent what felt like many years searching as well.  I would meet women who were "flesh and bone" like me. They were good people.  Each was beautiful in her own way.  I was able to see them as human beings made in the image of God.  Something still wasn't quite right.  It wasn't like the difference between me and a duck-billed platypus, but still it wasn't the right fit.  Then I met my wife.  It didn't take long to realize she was the one.  God had brought me to her and brought her to me.  This was my mate for life.

I don't understand men who tear down their wives or women who tear apart their husbands.  Traci, my wife, is my partner in everything I do.  We worked through college together.  We began married life together.  We remodeled three houses together. We enjoyed the birth of three children and mourned the loss of one through miscarriage together.  We home school our children together. We chose a church together.  We worked in ministry together.  We chose our full-time vocation together.  We moved and planted a church together and during the times it seems the "whole world" is against us, we are still together.

No, I'm not speaking of a fairy tale relationship.  We've had our "disagreements," our "discussions," and our times we simply wanted to give up...but we didn't.  Through the power of God's Spirit and enough humility on our part, we worked through the rough times...and we still do.  More and more, though, it seems the rough times are "out there" and not "in here" with our relationship.  I find myself along side my partner battling the problems that come at us, rather than battling one another.  In fact, when something does drive a wedge between us, even if it is only for a moment, it catches us off guard because it continues to become more and more rare.

That is because God created a partner "just right" for me and he created me "just right" for her.  I can't imagine anyone else in the world being able to put up with the strange conglomeration of skills, shortcomings, strengths and weaknesses that are me.  It seems like every weakness of mine is filled by a strength of hers.  At the same time, my strengths seem to fill gaps in her as well.  We fit together almost like puzzle pieces who were made for one another.  Maybe we learned to live with one another over the years making us like one, but I like to think that God was the one who created us this way...then brought us to one another in His time.

People

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him." So the LORD God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him. (Genesis 2:18-20 NLT)

My dad just said to me recently, "When I used to work nights as a police officer, I would alway say 'If people knew what happened in this city at night they would never feel safe.'"  Uniform police officer...detective...homicide...county coroner's office.  These jobs and places filled the "work day" of my father's life after returning home from World War II.  He watched people do unspeakable things to one another.  Often times it was his job to stop them before or while they were in the act of hurting others.  Other times it was his job to catch them after the fact.  You would think that a resume' like that would make someone hard...jaded.  The exact opposite is true.

I don't know how he did it, but somehow in the midst of all this death and destruction my dad still likes people.  He treats them with respect, kindness, even love.  He builds them up.  He tries to get them to laugh.  He makes it his mission to interrupt their day and make it better.  It would drive me crazy as a child growing up because my dad seemed to know everyone.  Everywhere we would go, we would "bump into" people dad would know...and they always seemed like "old friends."  His life regularly reminds me that it is not good for man to be alone.  That is why God created other human beings.

I'm still not sure how he does it.  I haven't seen nearly the horror, death, and destruction that he has and I hope I never will.  In ministry, though, I've seen much of the fall out.  I've seen the after effects of people doing terrible things to other people.  In spite of those sins, I still want to treat people with respect, kindness...even love.  I want to see people as human beings made in the image of God, regardless of their past.  When I read the pages of Scripture and I see Jesus hanging out with thieves, prostitutes, and murders - pointing them back to God.  Sometimes I picture my dad doing the same thing.  Then I picture myself there too.  Thank you, dad, for the man you are.  Your model continues to help me grow into the man God wants me to become.

Me

So God created human beings in His own image. In the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. (Genesis 1:27 NLT)


I've never been a very good artist.  When I was growing up, I had a best friend who was a much better artist than I was.  Whenever we would draw pictures, for example, we would compare our work.  Sometimes we would take it to an impartial judge (like our parents) to find out who's picture would win the best in our art show/contest.  We didn't need a judge.  Her's was better.


Whenever my mom would judge, though, she wouldn't admit it.  "I like the colors you used in this one and I like that you put the dog in this one.  They're both very good."  Those are the kinds of statements she would make.  I didn't understand why she would lie like that.  It was so obvious that my friend's picture was better than mine.  Why wouldn't she just admit it?


Over the years, I started seeing the way other people were raised.  They would have voices in their head that came from their past as well. "You're stupid. You're an idiot. You'll never amount to anything."  I've met people who were told they were a failure because they came in second place rather than first.  I've met people who were told they weren't good enough because they didn't make the team, the club, or the academic cut.  I've met people who were told that their sole value to the world is their body...giving it to anyone who asks.  I've met people who are told that they are nothing but a sinner to the core.  They're no good...and they never will be.

My heart breaks.  Doesn't anyone tell them that they have value, that they have worth?  When God created Adam and Eve, He made them in His image.  When God created you and me, He created us in His image.  His image is very good - excellent in every way.  Everything God made is good...including you and me.

Now, maybe I understand my mom's words a little better.  It's not about who's crayon picture is better.  It's about helping the artist see the good in herself.  So many people and places in this world tell me how I fall short.  It's a rare blessing to find someone who helps me see His image in me.  That's the kind of person I want to be.  Thanks, mom, for modeling it so well for me.  He truly shines through you.

God

In the beginning God...     (Genesis 1:1 KJV)

I've spent most of my life trying to get a picture of God that I could wrap my mind around.  I'm sorry to say that I've failed.  Every picture I get simply seems to fall short.

When I was younger, I found myself in large church buildings with stained glass and ornate decor taking me back hundreds of years to a time when people dedicated all of their gifts to the building of grand reminders of a really BIG God.  In those church buildings, I found myself picturing God as a big, powerful, austere man who sat on a throne and ruled as King over all of His creation.  He was a judge, fair but unwaivering, who knew even more than Santa Clause so you couldn't get away with anything.  He was a warrior who defeated all who were against Him, so you didn't want to be against Him.  God was a Father, Warrior, Judge, and King to be feared, respected, and revered.

Later, I started attending a different kind of church service in a different kind of building.  The building was still large, but the benches didn't have kneelers and were padded for comfort.  The large building was clean and beautiful, but not nearly as ornate.  The building seemed to point to a different kind of God - one who provided but not one to be feared.  The preacher spoke much more about God as the person, Jesus.  He spoke of His fairness, His humility, and His love.  "Grace" seemed to be the catch word in that church body.  God became approachable, like a friend.  We were encouraged to get to know God, to build a relationship with God, and to become more like God - Christ-like in all we say and do.  God was a man who was approachable as a friend.

Over time, I began hearing more and more people speak of God as being "in them."  They didn't fear Him like the first group.  They didn't talk about becoming His friend like the second group.  They spoke of hearing from Him, being directed by Him.  They seemed to go beyond becoming like Him by following the example of the God-man Jesus.  They had a "direct connection" to God and would follow whatever they heard Him tell them to do. God was a Spirit who filled His people with gifts.

Over time, I've read Scripture over and over again.  I've started to see that each of these pictures has validity to them.  God is described as a Cosmic Father, a Man-Son, and an Indwelling Spirit.  I've started to realize that the pictures we have been given are a part of a bigger picture.  These pictures give us attributes that are true of God with pictures that our minds can handle.  As we put these pictures together, we begin to see the bigger picture.  God is far beyond any picture we can grasp.

I think this is by design.  Perhaps the real goal here is not to understand everything about God, but to learn from those things God has revealed to us.  Each thing we learn teaches us a little more about God...and ourselves.  I guess I really didn't fail, then.  I'm just not done. As long as i have breath, I have time to learn a little more about our God.

How about you?  What's your picture of God?

A Picture to Pursue

You formed the mountains by Your power and armed Yourself with mighty strength. You quieted the raging oceans with their pounding waves and silenced the shouting of the nations. Those who live at the ends of the earth stand in awe of Your wonders. From where the sun rises to where it sets, You inspire shouts of joy.     (Psalms 65:6-8)

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words.  If that's the case, then being there is worth a million.

The Garden Again

So the LORD God banished them from the Garden of Eden, and He sent Adam out to cultivate the ground from which he had been made. After sending them out, the LORD God stationed mighty cherubim to the east of the Garden of Eden. And He placed a flaming sword that flashed back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.
(Genesis 3:23-24 NLT)

I was writing about "A Garden Walk" before I took my "sabbatical" from writing.  I've been writing more about personal issues than the garden picture as of late.  I really sense the need to go back to discussing the garden picture again.

Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden due to their sin.  We blame them to this day for having to work by the sweat of our brow, the pain of childbirth, and death.  The cherubim is stationed to block the way back to the tree of life, and there is no way back in.  Why do I bother talking about this picture, then, if there is no way for us to go back to this picture?  There are several reasons.

First of all, the garden picture gives us a glimpse of what God was thinking when He created the heavens and the earth.  Many pieces of our experience today are a part of God's design, just as God intended.  Other pieces of our experience today are twisted derivations of His design that the serpent puts in place to pull us away from God and His design.  Going back to the original picture gives us a starting point for making the distinction.

Secondly, the garden picture reminds us of God's power, beauty, and love.  It reminds me that God's desire for my life is always good and every good and perfect gift comes from God.  Even the ability to choose my own path is a gift from God that I cherish and hope to use wisely.

Another reason I go back to this picture is it's simplicity.  It's so easy to get caught up in the details of the promises (Adam, Noah, Abraham, Israel, and more).  It's easy to get caught up in the law of Moses, then trying to figure out what applies and what doesn't apply to us today.  It's easy to get lost in the details of His Story and the details of history, missing the whole point all together.  When I go back to the garden, I have an easy picture to remember that points me right back to Him and His Design for my life.

Finally (at least for now), everything changed when Jesus was born, lived, died, rose again, and ascended...sending His Spirit back.  The power struggle with the serpent, sin, and death changed.  The guardianship of the law changed.  The fulfillment of the promises took place.  The kingdom of God arrived and the power of death disappeared.  The "tree of life" is available to us, along with holiness, righteousness, and a restored relationship with God.  Our post-Jesus encounter should resemble His garden of Eden design more than it resembles the rest of the Old Testament or even Jesus' life (remember Jesus was still living under the law).  That's why I point people to the garden and refer to it as "A Garden Walk."

I look forward to sharing more about this in the future - how to see it, enter it, and enjoy the walk together with God.  I hope and pray you enjoy it so much that you can't wait to share it with those you love - empowering one more to walk together with God.

Walking on my path,

Pete