Married

But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Corinthians 7:9 NIV)

Marriage is tied to sex so much that Paul admits that, while there are great advantages to being single, none of those advantages are worth it if we are burning with passion.  In that case, it is better to be married.

One time my son was learning about singleness, marriage, and sexuality.  I had him looking up any Scriptures he could find on the subject.  He came back to me at one point and asked, “Dad, are people married automatically when they have sex?”  I asked him why.  He showed me passages like this:

Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her (Genesis 24:67a NIV)

He was right.  The passages tie the two concepts together so much that we cannot separate the two.  We still have this concept today.  We call it consummating the marriage.  It’s the part that takes place after the wedding ceremony and reception are all over.  It’s the part where they are “really married before God.”  It brought up another interesting question, then.  Does that mean that every time someone has sex with another person, they are getting married?  Perhaps that explains many the negative after-effects of sleeping around.

Now for the matters you wrote about: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman." But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. (1 Corinthians 7:1-6 NIV)

I spoke with a man on an airplane trip once.  He had just learned about this passage in Scripture and couldn’t wait to go tell his wife about it.  He was going to tell her that she had to sleep with him whenever he wanted because the Bible said so.  I spent most of the three hour trip trying to help him see that this was a concession, not a command.  I’m not sure that I succeeded.  There is far more to marriage than sex.  Some of us, however, can’t seem to see past the sex.  That’s why the marriage is so full of turmoil.  We’re not letting other parts of God’s design into the relationship.

No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord's people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds. As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. (1 Timothy 5:9-12 NIV)

How about you?  Did you decide to get married?  Was it all about the romance and sex, or were other things more important to you?  Does marriage help you stay pure?