Letting Go

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32 TNIV)

Sometimes the "explosions" inside of us come from lies that we hold on to.  Other times, it has to do with debts we try to keep.

When someone does something wrong, it's called sin.  When someone sins against you, it leaves a debt.  Think about it.  Someone steals from you, he owes you what he took to make things "fair" again.  Maybe he should pay you a little more for your trouble.  But what if he takes something that can't be returned?  What if the person takes a one-of-a-kind item and it gets destroyed in the process.  What if he takes away a relationship or friendship.  What if he takes away your safety, security or innocence?  Then how can he make things "fair" again - even if he wanted to?

It doesn't take long to imagine a sin that can't be balanced out in this life, mostly because we experience them all the time. Violence, theft, rape, murder, drunkenness, infidelity, and lies all take something from us that, if we are honest, can't be given back.  To find peace again, we have to believe that somehow the scales of justice can be balanced out.  We have to trust that God will do just that...eventually.  That's where forgiveness comes into play.

Forgiveness is not saying that the other person was right.  Forgiveness is not letting them off the hook.  Forgiveness does not require them to say "I'm sorry."  Forgiveness is really about you and God - getting things right between the two of you.

Think of it this way.  Whenever someone sins against you, a sword is placed right next to you just waiting to be used to extract justice for the wrong that was committed.  It's God's job to wield that sword, so He reaches for it.  You, however, want to do that job so you reach and grab it at the same time.  The problem is that God grabbed the handle and you grabbed the blade.  God says, "Give it to me.  I'll take care of it."  You say, "NO!  I WANT TO DO IT!" and squeeze even harder.  Then you yell, "Ow!" because the blade cuts into your hand.  God repeats, "I'll take care of it.  This sword is too big for you to handle.  Let me take care of this."  You refuse to let go.  As long as you hold on to the blade, it continues to hurt.  

Forgiveness is the act of letting go.  You're not letting the person off the hook.  You're letting God do His job.  Your job is to get out of the way.  Turn it over to Him and the pain inside you will stop.  You will experience peace.

When you find old wounds that continue to hurt today, perhaps it is because you haven't let go of the "sword of justice."  Forgive him - even if he didn't ask for it - even if he never repented of it - even if he is no longer around.  No, he doesn't deserve your forgiveness.  But then again, you didn't deserve forgiveness either...and God gave it to you.

Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you. (Colossians 3:13 CEV)