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Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Speaking in Love

Yesterday, we reminded ourselves that healthy relationships are built on truth.  We must speak words of truth – God’s truth.

Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death is one who deceives their neighbor and says, "I was only joking!" Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts. Like a coating of silver dross on earthenware are fervent lips with an evil heart. Enemies disguise themselves with their lips, but in their hearts they harbor deceit. Though their speech is charming, do not believe them, for seven abominations fill their hearts. Their malice may be concealed by deception, but their wickedness will be exposed in the assembly. Whoever digs a pit will fall into it; if someone rolls a stone, it will roll back on them. A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin. (Proverbs 26:18-28 NIV)

Truth may set us free, but God’s truth tells us how to speak truth.

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. (1 Corinthians 13:1 NIV)

Love filters the truth that we share.  Sometimes love tells us to speak up.  Sometimes love tells us to shut up.  Sometimes love tells us to wait.  When we speak the truth in love, our words always build people up into Christ who is the head of the church.  It doesn’t build them up in the sense that it makes them happy all the time.  It builds them up in the sense that it draws them closer to God.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29 NIV)

The word for “benefit” in this passage comes from the Greek word χάρις (charis).  This word may sound familiar to you.  That’s because we’ve discussed it before.  In Scripture, this word is most often translated as “grace.”  It literally means “gift.”  In other words, our words should be a gift (grace) to those who hear them.  I had a friend in Cincinnati who would reminder herself of this by closing her prayers with the following Psalm.

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalms 19:14 NIV)

How about you?  Are your words a gift to those who listen?  Do you speak the truth in love?  Do your words build healthy, God-centered relationships?

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