Gentleness Builds Trust

It's all well and good to say that gentleness draws people, but sometimes people just drive us nuts! (My mother-in-law says that, for me, it's more of a short putt than a drive.) What should we do, then, when people get to us? Paul struggled with this, we can tell.

Some of you have become arrogant, as if I were not coming to you. But I will come to you very soon, if the Lord is willing, and then I will find out not only how these arrogant people are talking, but what power they have. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a rod of discipline, or shall I come in love and with a gentle spirit? (1 Corinthians 4:18-21 NIV)

Maybe Paul liked to slay dragons, conquer the next hill, or fight the enemy. People noticed the difference between the "timid" Paul and the "bold" Paul. The problem with this struggle is that people can tell that you are fighting inside and can fear that that battle inside will come outside, getting dumped on them.

By the humility and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you--I, Paul, who am "timid" when face to face with you, but "bold" toward you when away! I beg you that when I come I may not have to be as bold as I expect to be toward some people who think that we live by the standards of this world. For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:1-6 NIV)

This is why it's so important to remember the picture we find in Scripture. The enemy is described as an enemy to be fought. The enemy is a spiritual enemy, communicating with thoughts, ideas, and words. We fight the enemy using weapons designed to battle that enemy.

People are described as rebellious, captives, or as confused. We are called to love people, not destroy them. We are told to let the truth set us free, set the captives free, and become God's team (Body) working together toward this end. Consistent gentleness helps with this picture, because gentleness builds trust.

How about you? Do you struggle inside your mind? Does that struggle come out of your mind and get dumped on other people? Are you gentle with people? When you are consistently gentle, does it build trust?