It's hard to share the love of God with people when you're struggling with any of the thoughts and feelings I've expressed over the past several days. It's enough to make me stop going to church services or reading the Bible. Let's not kid ourselves. "I don't have to go to church to be a good person," really means, "I don't want to go someplace that reminds me just how far I fall short from what God says." "All those church-goers are hypocrites, anyway," really means, "I don't want to be around a bunch of people who mess up and then tell me I mess up, too." Something inside us want's to participate in the divine. We want a place of peace, and we want to experience peace deep down inside...even to our very souls.
You can't get there without God.
You also can't get there without people who are pursuing God.
Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. (2 Timothy 2:22-26 NIV)
I've posted about some pretty dark experiences, thoughts and feelings over the past few days. I've lived every experience, had every thought, and battled every emotion I've described over the 43 years of my life, 23 years of marriage, and almost 20 years of raising children of my own. But that's not my experience any more. I can see now that bad times like those are ones where I get "trapped" and "taken captive". But now, I've learned how to be set free.
Perhaps you've experienced some of them yourself. Maybe you've even wanted to quit like I have at times...your parents, your friends, your marriage, your children, your church...and even God.
Take it from me.
Don't quit.
It's worth the effort.
Do the things that will help you in the midst of the "storms" you face. Turn to God. Read His Word. Join His Body...the Church. You see people fighting or arguing in the church? Sit with different people - ones who are kind, able to teach, and not resentful. Can't find any there? Find another church. There are plenty around. You can find people who are walking with God if you look for them. I did.
I wasn't crazy about church-hopping or "shopping" for a place to learn and grow, but the pressures of life, finances, marriage, and children finally got to me. We looked for a church. What we found was a grace-filled environment that lovingly, consistently pointed us right back to God every week. God's people were a big part of my healing and growth. God's Word was the guide that all of us turned to. The habits came slowly. The battles (for good) were sometimes fierce. But the process was good and the result is amazingly beautiful. It's so beautiful that I liken it to walking together with Adam and Eve in the garden. I call it, "a garden walk."
When I've experienced such dramatic changes in my own life, how can I keep it to myself.
When I've learned from others, how can I keep from following their lead?
How can I quit sharing?
I won't.
When I sent out the first post in this series, people clamored to figure out what was going on. My blog readership increased by 500% when the title of the post was, "Should I quit?" While I am grateful and even humbled by the concern and compassion shown to me, my heart's desire is to serve all of you who are struggling with these feelings now - that you want to quit. Please don't. You don't want me to quit, so let's keep going together.
I will continue write about the garden walk.
Sign up to receive the email each day.
I will continue to strive toward a grace-filled, healthy church.
Join me in creating that environment each week.
I won't quit.
How about you?
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