Self Control (Around People)

It’s one thing to recognize that we have control over our own thoughts, hearts, words, and actions.  It’s another thing completely when we start thinking about all the people around us.  What do we do when the people around us don’t exercise self-control?  Do we just avoid them?  Do we stay away altogether? It doesn’t take long for that line of thinking to fall apart.  We are surrounded by people who don’t exercise self control.  Your spouse may not use words that are always a gift.  Your children probably don’t do everything without complaining or arguing.  Your boss or teacher may not be very grace-filled with the deadlines and may even express their clear expectations with “unwholesome talk.”  So, what do we do? 

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God-- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people. (2 Timothy 3:1-5 NIV)

Maybe we could just go hang out at church!  Church people will exercise self-control, right?  Of course, one small-group Bible study will prove this to be a problem, too.  We could try to avoid interaction with people at the church and just go to church services at a large church were nobody knows your name.  The preachers, pastors, and other leaders all exercise self-control, right?  That way I would get just get good thoughts for my mind and heart.  The problem with this, of course, is that preachers, pastors, and other church leaders are imperfect, too.  Even with their best attempts, they may fall short of our expectations.

By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them. (Matthew 7:16-20 NIV)\

The bottom line is that everyone we come in contact with will have their shortcomings.  Self-control is a sign of maturity and increases the more we walk by the Spirit.  That is true of them.  That is true of us, too.

Just because people aren’t perfect at exercising self-control, that shouldn’t stop us from being around people.  If anything, it should drive us, as Christ-followers, to spend more time with people. Yes, it is good to attend church services.  Those pastors and church workers are working hard to help everyone encounter God, using their self-control to remove distractions for you.  Yes, it is good to attend those small group Bible studies.  God’s Word is always living and active.  In addition, you may learn something from another person who is further along in their journey.  Who knows, maybe someone will gain some wisdom from yours, too.

So, how about you?  Do you recognize when people around you do not exercise self-control?  When they don’t, do you?  Do you avoid people, or do you walk together with them while you walk together with God?  Do you let God, through self-control, work through you?