I enjoy being "one flesh" with my wife. It's a beautiful part of God's design.
I don't say this to gross you out or to make you uncomfortable. I say it because I think God gets a "bad rap" in this area. It seems like God or the church are always brought into the discussion about sex in a negative way. We hear plenty about fallen pastors, predator priests, homophobic Christians, and unrealistic, prudish abstinence-only advocates. God is painted as mean spirited for designing people a certain way, then telling them not to follow that design. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Don't get me wrong. I've struggled with the same feelings that are expressed by our culture. I am a man whose hormones began raging in my teenage years like any other young man. I battled with feeling like all God had to say to me was, "No. No. No. No. No!" I wondered if I was homosexual when it seemed to be all the rage to come "out of the closet" and "be proud." I've had many thoughts go through my mind and changes happen to my body that really made me wonder, "What was God thinking!" I wasn't happy with God at all. Marrying Traci and having "relief" for this tension helped some, but it did not solve the ultimate problem.
I was looking at things all wrong. It wasn't my parents fault. They tried to teach me well. My friends still sneaked me magazines that gave me a very twisted picture of "healthy" sexuality. Television and movies didn't help much as movie makers stretched the distance between "PG" and "R" until a "PG-13" rating was finally instituted. Gay rights movements began bashing God and demonizeing churches, and starting to say God made them that way. Later, the internet made anything and everything available at any time. And now, you can't watch television without seeing advertisements for women's things, sexual things, and Victoria's worst kept secret in the world. What a mess.
God's design is so simple...so beautiful...so pure. It's so difficult...almost impossible...to see it amidst the mess around us.
Sex is good. God designed it that way.
God made it enjoyable. It's so enjoyable that we look for any way to separate it from any limitations or parameters so we can "hook up" anytime we want to with anyone we want to. God was trying to give my wife and I a special gift that we could enjoy together.
God made it powerful. The physical and emotional power is so strong that we associate it with "life." We call it a "sex life" or a "lifestyle choice". God was thinking that power would draw my wife and I back into each other's arms, even when situations and people try to pull us apart.
God made it life-giving. We develop pills, condoms, and other devices to stop this process, then develop ways to "remove" the "fetus" when all those methods fail. We don't want the life-giving properties in God's design, unless it's on our terms. God was thinking we would enjoy being a part of the creation process. God was trying to bless us with another gift even greater than the enjoyment and power: the gift of a child.
Like I said, I enjoy being "one flesh" with my wife. It's a beautiful part of God's design. I realize now that the parts I don't like...the parts I struggle with...aren't a part of God's design at all.