Men Can't Cry

Three days later, when David and his men arrived home at their town of Ziklag, they found that the Amalekites had made a raid into the Negev and Ziklag; they had crushed Ziklag and burned it to the ground. They had carried off the women and children and everyone else but without killing anyone. When David and his men saw the ruins and realized what had happened to their families, they wept until they could weep no more. (1 Samuel 30:1-4 NLT)

I've grown up in a society that tells us men that we need to be strong.  Crying is for women and children.  Us men need to hide our emotions.  In more recent years, we've been told we are allowed to cry - but in a way that makes us look like babies and wimps.  What's the real 411 for us men?

Reading the stories of David, though, give me a completely different picture of manhood than our society has painted.  David was a fierce warrior: slaying Goliath when he was only a young boy and credited with killing his tens of thousands in battle as a man.  David was a faithful friend: staying true to his friendship with Jonathan, even when Jonathan's dad wanted to kill David.  David was a powerful ruler: creating a unified kingdom that was bested in glory only later by his son, Solomon.  David was a caring family man: crying for his lost child by Bathsheba, and weeping over the loss of family right now.

Weeping is not the sign of a weak man.  It's the sign of a caring man.  We weep because we have lost something or someone of great value - someone we love.  It hurts to lose someone we love.  It's not a sign of weakness to show that hurt.  The question is what we do next.

David was now in great danger because all his men were very bitter about losing their sons and daughters, and they began to talk of stoning him. But David found strength in the LORD his God. (1 Samuel 30:6 NLT)

David was a man of God.  Great strength can be drawn from the power of God.  Turning to Him in our time of need will bring us to a place of peace and power.  We start thinking not only from our perspective of loss, but from His perspective of plan.  He can not only comfort and strengthen us, but he will include us in His Plan as well...if we will turn to Him.

Then he said to Abiathar the priest, "Bring me the ephod!" So Abiathar brought it. Then David asked the LORD, "Should I chase after this band of raiders? Will I catch them?" And the LORD told him, "Yes, go after them. You will surely recover everything that was taken from you!" (1 Samuel 30:7-8 NLT)

Was it God's Will that David lose his family forever?  No.  It was God's Will that David and his men would rescue all their families.  They would be heroes today.  Wouldn't it be a shame if David had never known God's Will for him that day because he never asked?  It's OK to cry.  It hurts.  But don't stop there.  Turn to God and ask Him what's next.  You may be surprised by His answer.