Honor My Father?

Then David fled from Naioth at Ramah and went to Jonathan and asked, "What have I done? What is my crime? How have I wronged your father, that he is trying to kill me?" "Never!" Jonathan replied. "You are not going to die! Look, my father doesn't do anything, great or small, without letting me know. Why would he hide this from me? It isn't so!" (1 Samuel 20:1-2 NIV)

David has been anointed King now, but no one really knows about it.  Saul, the current king, is starting to get very jealous at David's popularity and purity.  He want's David dead.

Jonathan is Saul's son and David's best friend.  He can't believe that his dad would possibly want to do something like kill David.  Beyond that, he can't believe his dad would lie to him about such a thing.  His father is to be respected, honored, and obeyed.  Plus, he's done nothing wrong, until...

Saul boiled with rage at Jonathan. "You stupid son of a whore!" he swore at him. "Do you think I don't know that you want him to be king in your place, shaming yourself and your mother? As long as that son of Jesse is alive, you'll never be king. Now go and get him so I can kill him!" "But why should he be put to death?" Jonathan asked his father. "What has he done?" Then Saul hurled his spear at Jonathan, intending to kill him. So at last Jonathan realized that his father was really determined to kill David. Jonathan left the table in fierce anger and refused to eat on that second day of the festival, for he was crushed by his father's shameful behavior toward David. (1 Samuel 20:30-34 NLT)

Have you ever had to deal with this kind of situation?  No, I'm not talking about your father throwing a spear at you in a botched attempt to kill you.  I'm talking about your father acting in very ungodly ways...perhaps even toward you.  You feel stuck because God tells you to honor and obey their father, but your father is sinning against you.  What should you do?

Well, I would suggest starting with reading what the actual command says...

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. "Honor your father and mother." This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, "things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth." Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4 NLT)

The command to obey our parents is tied together with a command given to our parents.  They are commanded to teach us to follow the Lord, then we are commanded to obey.  Honoring our father and mother is coupled with the promise that "things will go well for you" because they will be teaching you the ways of the Lord.  When they sin against you, however, God doesn't expect you to obey.  

God comes first.  "I am the LORD your God...You shall have no other gods before me."(Exodus 20:2-3 NIV) That is the first of the ten commandments.  Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. (Deuteronomy 6:5 NIV)  That is the command Jesus called the "greatest" of all the commands.  God comes first.

This means that, for example, God expects us to disobey a dad who tells us to murder someone, commit suicide, or steal.  When we do, however, he also expects us to forgive the one (dad) who sins against us and even try to reconcile if possible.  The goal is for both of us to walk together with God.

Father, I am sorry for the times I've fallen short as a son and as a father.  I ask forgiveness for the times I did not honor my father.  I beg for your forgiveness for the times I've let my children astray.  Please, show us how to reconcile our differences with one another and bring us back in lock-step with You.

In Jesus name I pray, Amen.