Now, my son, listen to me. Do exactly as I tell you. Go out to the flocks, and bring me two fine young goats. I'll use them to prepare your father's favorite dish. Then take the food to your father so he can eat it and bless you before he dies." "But look," Jacob replied to Rebekah, "my brother, Esau, is a hairy man, and my skin is smooth. What if my father touches me? He'll see that I'm trying to trick him, and then he'll curse me instead of blessing me." But his mother replied, "Then let the curse fall on me, my son! Just do what I tell you. Go out and get the goats for me!" (Genesis 27:8-13 NLT)
I have to admit that I grew up with good parents. They loved me, cared for me, and even cared about empowering me to walk together with God. Sundays, we went to church services. During the week I went to parochial school. We prayed for our meals and prayed at bed time. God entered our conversations about daily life and that pointed me to a desire to walk with Him.
That being said, everything wasn't perfect. There were times when my dad didn't agree with what the Priest or religion teacher said. There were times when mom didn't agree with what dad said. We were a normal family, with people working through their faith as they went through life. That brought about more than one conflict over the years. Those times would usually leave us all confused and frustrated.
We were in good company. Jacob is about to become the person through whom God will bless all nations. The promise was given to Abraham, then Isaac. Now it's going to become Jacob's turn. The thing is, everybody in the family didn't agree on this. Esau really should have received the blessing, being the first born. He gave away his birthright over some food and now he was going to be tricked out of his blessing.
Dad (Isaac) wanted to bless his oldest boy. He was dad's favorite. Mom wanted dad to bless Jacob instead. Jacob was her favorite. So, she hatched a plan to trick her husband who's eyesight was failing. Dress the younger son up to feel and smell like the older son, then have him ask for the blessing. It worked.
Here's the thing. Look at what happens to Jacob. He's in a tough situation. Lying to his dad is wrong. Disobeying his mom is wrong. What should he do? Well, he's old enough to stand up for what's right, but he doesn't. Instead, he just worries about getting caught. He fakes things long enough to get the blessing, then gets found out right afterword. This trick would cost him his relationship with his brother for a long, long, time. Esau goes out and marries a woman his father hates just to get back at him. Who knows what it did to his parents' marriage, but it couldn't have been good.
Now I know that God finally renamed Jacob to be called Israel. I know that God blessed all nations through his lineage. I know that God worked good through all the chaos that was this family dynamic. That doesn't make their actions right. They still screwed up. God had to clean up their mess.
The next time you're stuck in a difficult situation and family dynamic. Ask yourself this question: "Where is God in all this?" That's the only question that really matters. Yes, God is able to work good out of a broken mess, but that doesn't mean our goal should be to create a broken mess. He works good when we turn away from such things and finally love Him and are called according to His purpose. Until then, we just stay stuck in a rut.
Isaac could have spent more time verifying which son he was talking to. Rebekah could have talked things through with Isaac rather than trying to trick him. Jacob could have told his mom that it is just wrong to deceive his dad like this. Esau could have chosen not to sell his birthright for a meal and could have forgiven his father and brother. But they didn't. None of them did.
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